I'm On Break!

Hello blog world! Just a quick update about my life.
The most important is that I have successfully completed one more quarter of  nursing school. Not only that but I didn't hurt anybody either! yay ! lol. I'm kidding, I am safe I promise.
I had my first 5 weeks in maternity, and can I just say that our bodies are amazing and God created us perfectly! My last 5 weeks were on a medical floor with lovely patients, nurses and a lovely instructor! If you guys want to hear stories about nursing school.....boy oh boy do I have some now. LOL. My poor boyfriend and Hanna hear about all my stories all the time.

Anyway here are a few pictures of what life has been lately.
This is what happens when you ignore your dog during finals week. He just stares at you until you can't help but succumb to his cuteness. lol


I turned 23 :)
Went out to dinner with parents. This picture is funny because my mom had just finished putting her cold hands on my dads neck- hence, his face.lol

Chipotle enchiladas! My fave!

Went to a play put on by LCA last night.

They did so good!

A picture with the "falling star". Well, without her star lol


 
 
 
Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely break and Christmas!
What to you have planned?
 
Aside from sleeping, the two highlights of my break will be seeing a very special somebody soon, and going down to visit the Thaler's and the rest of the folks down south.
 
 
Yay!
 
Yay!
 
Yay!
 
 
 
I can't wait to see my boyfriend.....heh heh.. Yes I'm obnoxious and I don't care.
 
:)

Confessions of a Skeptic

"Skep·ti·cism
noun \ˈskep-tə-ˌsi-zəm\

1: an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object
2 a :  the doctrine that true knowledge or knowledge in a particular area is uncertain
   b :  the method of suspended judgment, systematic doubt, or criticism characteristic of skeptics."

My name is  ___ ___, and I'm a skeptic.

Anything that is lovely and good I analyze. I don't just think about it it- I analyze it down to the t.
I search every crevice, every closet and drawer for "the other side of things".

And then that sticks to the back of my mind like a peace of gum under a nice chair with pretty bright decorative pillows.

My dear friend Mary often jokes about how I'm her conscience, her realist friend- but there is fine line between being a realist and being a skeptic.
Try living a life where wonderful things are  happening to you and you just can't help but think of the "other side"?

I felt like I was living under a curse.

But I think I figured out the antidote to the "curse of skepticism" - and that my friends is Love.

Think about it. The core of our existence as Apostolics is Jesus, and our love for Him.
Loving him deeply makes our desires to serve Him stronger and so does our faith and trust.

Skepticism is no match for love ❤. When you love you trust - it's hard to see past the one you love, yeah? That being Jesus of course.

and well maybe somebody else too.... lol  :D


 







How Nursing Student's Say "I Love You"

@Milena Dobreva !


You make my dopamine levels go all silly.

 funny-real-heart-love-letter-medical-student




Heh :)

Only like 0.05 of people who read this will get it. haha

WCC 2013

 I'm going to make this short and sweet.

WCC was a blessing like always, and it's always good seeing friends. Even if I wasn't as social this year... ahem. lol
I really didn't take that many pictures either so oooops!
Christy!!!!!

She's nice to me now. haha

Random picture. I like it . lol.

Nurses are awesome!

Mar Bear Purr... :)

The guys with their teriyaki boats...Noah's ark version. lol

Yellowwwww :)
I'll blog more eventually lol.

Self-Esteem Week Year 2: Courtney

*Disclaimer from Anali: I am so NOT violent.....LOLOLOL. But thank your Courtney for writing this! *


When Anali asked me to write for self-esteem week I immediately said yes without thinking… I really need to work on thinking before I speak. I wanted to back out of it as soon as I sent the text, but knew that she would kick me when I saw her (she is very violent). So I tried to be slick and ask her what I should write about. Her reply was pretty self-explanatory… SELF ESTEEM!
I would not say that I am the most confident person, at one time people thought I was because of how I carried myself, but that was all an act. I did not grow up in church so for me low self-esteem manifested itself in a different way. I was a very active child I played competitive soccer and danced competitively. I was never petite girl. In my Nana’s New York accent, “Your built like your motha.” I have broad shoulders and well I am not a twig LOL. Being taller and stronger than most of my twiggy friends really lowered my self-esteem. But I cracked jokes and got used to being in the back of those stinky shortest to tallest lines. When I hit sixth grade acne attacked and my beautiful toe-head blonde hair resembled dirty dishwater… This is when my mommy (bless her heart) took me to a salon to dye my hair for the first time. Then we headed off to Clinique for some make-up.
Through middle school I always tried to be the loudest (now I no longer have to try), I was competitive, and wanted to be what others wanted me to be. I succeeded and turned myself into a party girl.  High School was no better! Modesty was not even in my vocabulary; I thought I needed to show everything off so someone would like me. I ran track but I never tried my hardest because guys liked girls who were dainty… I would have to say my bad decisions just lowered my self-esteem even further.
College, oh wonderful Sac State, I finally got to be whoever I wanted to be! I chose bottle blonde, tons of make-up, and party girl…plus rugby player. Not much of a change from High School. I broke my leg my first semester playing rugby, all my so called friends didn’t want gimpy tagging along so I didn’t party, but this caused my self-esteem to crash! Friendless I finished out my first year and entered my second. Needing a change I tried to get into church. In High School I tried but it never worked. Among other issues with the church I was attending, no one lived a separated life, and there was not power just a sinner’s prayer. Which I had repeated over and over but it never worked. So in college I knew I needed something more, I began attending a college group that was assemblies of God. During this time my brother and his girlfriend at the time (now wife) began to witness to me about the oneness of God and Jesus name baptism. This is what I needed. On November 23, 2009 I was baptized in that beautiful Name and filled with the wonderful gift of the Holy Ghost!
 
Some of you are probably thinking what is with this long drawn out history of the life of Courtney Mary Thaler, but without this history lesson you would never understand the work that God did with my self-esteem. So I got saved at 19, but I was not in a holiness church. But God began to deal with me. My full face of make-up to cover up my cystic acne and to bring out my eyes, was washed off and thrown away a couple months after receiving the Holy Ghost. The first time I read about Moses coming down from Mount Sinai I knew the make-up had to go. Then I began to feel that my pants were no longer modest outside of church, so I threw them out! I had one jean skirt and one church skirt that is all I wore. I realized if you couldn’t love me with my pimpled and dented with scars face, then you didn’t love me. If you didn’t like the fact that I covered myself up then you weren’t the one for me. When I got into a holiness church I completely understood that no flesh could glory in the presence of God.
God healed my broken heart and tattered self-image. He began to show me how He viewed me. He revealed to me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that He loved me before I was even formed in my mother’s womb. I was His and He was mine! Finally I had found the love I had been searching for, the acceptance that I had always needed. And the best thing…  Apostolic people come in all shapes and sizes! I am 24 now and still feel like there is so much God needs to work on in me, but I know who I am in Him. I still get frustrated that my hair is frizzy, but I love who I am now. God had healed my cystic acne and my scars are fading some people are shocked when I tell them how bad my skin was at one time. God’s love is what helped my self-esteem, without Him, I am nothing!
So my best advise to someone who is battling low self-esteem… GET INTO THE PRESENCE OF GOD. That is the answer, because you will get to know Him, and how He views you. Let me tell you how He views you is whole lot better than how you view yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others, because they will never be you and you will never be them. Don’t set yourself up for failure; the only one you can compare yourself with is God because He should be your measuring stick. Search for things that you like about yourself that do not involve your dress size or how clear your skin is. Discover what makes you tick, what is your passion? For me it’s teaching. I love teaching whether it’s a bible study, or teaching my students, its what I enjoy and what I am good at.  Finally fall in love with His word, you will find His love in there waiting for you!
 
Love to all!
Court

Self-Esteem Week Year 2 : Eliana



*Disclaimer: The content you are about to read is in no way meant to evoke pity or other emotions of that sort.  It is the hope of the author that the content will be a help to those who need encouragement.*
            To be honest, this self-esteem post is pretty hard for me to write.  The only way I know how to truly be a help is to be honest about my struggle with self-esteem.  I know there are people out there who have never had a bout with it, and to those people, God bless you.  However, I know what it is like to constantly battle with feeling substandard.  In fact, I am still in the process of healing.
            As I begin my post of encouragement, I will give a brief history of my struggle. When I was in my preteen years, I was awkward looking.  I was chunky with big feet, long fingers, and buck teeth.  To make a long story shorter, I was(am) highly critical of myself and that got me into trouble when I was in high school.  I constantly compared myself to others, thought they had it way easier in life because they were prettier so they were able to make friends, be more included and so forth.  It was during this time that I was close to a girl who was not a good influence and who I wanted to be like. She was skinny, bubbly, pretty, guys always liked her, and people were always around her.  This is when I thought skinny equaled pretty.  So, I barely ate and I tried to get as skinny as I could be.  Think this indicates problems with self-esteem, confidence, and self-image?  You are right.  During this time, I was doing great in school and involved in church. But inside, I was miserable and going through a dark time in my life.  When you are not comfortable with who you are and what you look like, it is hard to get along with others because you think they think horrible things about you but it is really your own mind that is messed up.  It was also around this time that I was always being talked to by authorities in my life because people would say I was snobby.  However, to me, I was not snobby.  I was shy and did not know how to conduct myself around people because I did not like myself so I figured they would not like me either.  Anyways, this all accumulated into nights where I would go to sleep on a wet pillow and a heart torn into pieces.  I did not know how to cure what I had done to my own self.
            This is only part of my story and most people, except my family, do not know about these intense struggles.  A word of advice-many of us do not know what people are going through just by looking at them and seeing them interact with others.  Some people that struggle have the ability to look okay on the outside but be in the midst of a tsunami in the inside.  I know because I am one of those people.  Now the point of this post is to help and encourage those who have these struggles.  The way I got through this storm in my life is PRAYER, the relationship with my parents, and those who cared about me.  Let me tell you, it is so very important to pay attention to the people you surround yourself with.  That is a major component of how you look at yourself.  We get our self-image from the mirror, ourselves, family, peer group, and most importantly, God’s Word. 

            One major area I would like to address that I feel most girls struggle with when their dealing with self-esteem is style.  For the Pentecostal girls still in middle and high school, I have seen the difficulty they have looking like a Pentecostal and being comfortable in their own skin.  The styles of this world are gross to put it nicely.  Do not be embarrassed or feel awkward when people stare at you and look you up and down because you are actually wearing clothes that cover you.  Just because girls who wear styles that are not modest walk around like they think they are something does not mean they have self-esteem.  Because they all look alike and do not have their own personal modesty and wear heels that are higher than their moral standards does not mean they have self-esteem.  Dressing modestly, being a godly lady whole heartedly exhibits self-esteem.  Continuing and practicing this increases your confidence in which God created you to be.  If you struggle with self-esteem, like I did, you must also increase your self-regard.  We all know about the armor of God that is written about in Ephesians 6.  As a woman, apply the armor of God to guard what you look at, what you are drawn to, and what styles are being promoted to you.  Style and fashion are areas that have been major influencers not only in the world but in the church.  What do your clothes say about you?   In my opinion, what a woman wears clearly dictates what she stands for, what she wants to look like, appear to be, wants to affiliate herself with, and how highly she thinks of herself.  1 Peter 3:3-6 tells us that our beauty should come from “…your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”  Who are we trying to please anyways? Each other?  No, we are supposed to be pleasing God.  On a side note, when I had low self-esteem and would attend conferences, I would very much feel like the ugly duckling when I saw all the girls dressed up and had their hair done all fancy.  I am a bun girl who is satisfied with a few curls here and there and does not dress to the nines.  However, I have decided that as long as I am comfortable, am clean and look as nice as I possibly can, nothing else matters because I am trying to please God alone.  It cracks me up to see girls sneakily trying to check each other out trying to see what they are wearing, etc.  So, anyways, to increase your self-esteem, try walking with your back straight, head held high, and confident in who God created you to be! A modest skirt, below elbow sleeves, modest necklines, modest shoes, and long hair is style.  That is self-esteem.  That is showing people just by how you dress and conduct yourself what you think about you and what you think about the God you serve and created you.  Modesty shows that you are not intending to draw attention to yourself but to who you are on the inside which is what attracts other people and God.  Inward attitudes, I believe, express themselves physically. 
            As I mentioned before, friends are an important aspect of self-esteem.  Be careful about who you call a friend.  I had to learn the hard way.  Ask God to bless you with the right friends who are like-minded and who will draw you closer to Him.  Show yourself friendly.  I went through many trials, tests, and times when I felt like I was all alone.  I cannot tell you how thankful and grateful I am for the friends God has blessed me with.  They have helped me in so many ways and one of them being my self-esteem.  Surround yourself with good people.
            One more major topic I want to address when discussing self-esteem is…guys.  Why is it that being pretty and attracting the opposite sex are the two biggest plagues of the female species??  Believe me, I am still trying to follow my own “preaching.”  Place your heart in the hands of God and He will place it in the hands of a man who deserves it.  Pray for a man who will draw you closer to God and who loves God more than anything.  If you do not love yourself, how can you expect the only person on earth who will know you the most intimately (besides your mom and dad) to love you?  What do you think God thinks, the one who created your every fiber, when he sees you degrade yourself and think negatively?  It is like when you give someone a gift you especially picked for them and think they would love it and when they see it they throw it on the ground, trample it, spit on it, roll it in mud and water all in front of you.  God made you for a purpose.  He created you with someone in mind who will love every part of you.  He gave you the gift of life to use it for Him, not to worry about what you look like and if you will get married.
            The pain and struggles I have gone through with self-esteem is kind of sad because they are all self-inflicted wounds, scars I have given myself.  Everything I have written in this post is to help you not do what I did.  If you do not like what you see on the outside, close your eyes and try to see from your heart.  Guard your heart.  Make sure your heart is clean.  Prayer works wonders.  Drawing close to God works.  Excel at developing who God made you to be instead of trying to compete with others or wanting to be what you perceive someone else to be.  We all have our own struggles.  Be yourself in God.  One of my favorite verses for self-esteem is Psalm 139:13-17, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you being I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  How precious to me are your thoughts, God!”  You are custom made by God.  How neat is that!  As you increase your self-esteem, remember that your goal is to be counted worthy.d
-Eliana Tarazon

Self-Esteem Week Year 2: Jen


Self esteem is SUCH a huge topic! Where to start??


In my mind, one thing self esteem is strongly tied to body image. As a kid, I had a fairly high sense of self esteem but even then (from the innocent light-hearted teasing from family and from media), I was too conscious of my body image. I don't recall much but I do remember being in elementary school and loving that I rode my bike a lot because it would help me have thinner legs. Yeahhhh, I don't think that worked!


When I hit middle school, oh those were bad times. It was horrible. I hated myself and I don't know why! I hated to take pictures, I avoided looking in the mirror as much as possible, etc. I just thought I was hideous. Of course, it was one of those phases one goes through during that stage of life and along with that, I didn't feel pretty because I didn't have a boyfriend. HA, now I thank God that He's kept me from so much!


High school. It was okay! Like, I was still insecure but I was also beginning to learn to find my security in God. A lot of people bash public schools. And yeahhh, I understand why they do! But even though there were bad influences, an atmosphere is only as impressionable as you allow it to be. I had some friends from all different groups but I was never "cool". I understood that my real friends were in church and being with them was an encouragement to me.


And then there's the twenty-something years! It amazes me how much insecurity has held me back in the past from being happy to be me. Maybe it's maturity mixed with God's security that has caused me not be concerned about what others think so much. Now, I am NOT advocating going around, giving into every little whim and desire because "who cares what they think!" There's a thin line between Security and Selfishness.


We all have a God given uniqueness about us. Until we learn to embrace it and allow God to use it, we'll be on a fruitless journey of trying to be/look like someone else. Even now when I have my moments of looking at someone else's life to compare it to mine, I like to tell myself that - That's their story! You can't compare yourself to their's because God is writing Your story.


*spoken in a fake, exaggerated Texan accent* Now this here ain't yer typical self esteem scripture!!
(sorry. I'm embracing my oddness.)
But it isn't the "cliché" Psalm 139 (which I really do love to pieces!) .


This is one God showed me through a difficult time in my life. Loved it so much that I typed it and taped it inside of my Bible.


Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:5 NIV)

No matter where you are in life, look to God and put your hope in Him!
\

Self-Esteem Week Year 2: Sister McElhaney



When Anali asked me to write, I wondered what I would write about.  I can honestly say I didn't struggle with self-esteem issues as a young person.  I’m sure it had a lot to do with my upbringing.  My parents were very encouraging.  Someone said to my Dad once, “You must be proud of this girl.”  My Dad said, “I’m proud of all my kids.”  That’s the environment in which I was raised.

Interestingly, the term “self-esteem” and concept were relatively unnoticed prior to the 1960s. By the late 1970s self-esteem had become a major focus of a great deal of research, and during the 1980s self-esteem became a national buzzword {source: http://www.education.com/reference/article/self-esteem2/}  I point this out because I was born in 1964, started school in 1969, and graduated from high school in 1982.  Self-esteem was not talked about when I was a child.

Does that mean people didn’t have problems with low self-esteem in the 70s?  Well, no.  I am well acquainted with someone who had very low self-esteem.  She spent a ton of time talking about how horrible she looked, she was fat (she probably weighed about 95 pounds!) her hair was too straight, her face was oily, on and on.  She cried when she turned 18 because she was an old maid!  She was obsessed about boys – who liked her, who didn’t, who talked to her, who didn’t.  I looked at her and saw a thin, pretty girl and just didn't get it.  She’s now in her mid-50s and still struggles with low self-esteem.

Another huge influence in my life was my brother, Rod.  He was only 13 months older than me and was born with hemophilia.  He suffered through much physical pain in his life, but his outlook was amazing.  Everyone loved him because he didn’t focus on his crippled leg or the things he couldn’t do.  He could sing with such anointing!  He was in dramas and had the quickest wit.  He knew how to make others feel good just by being around him.  How could I feel bad about myself when he faced life with such amazing determination?

Low self-esteem is often a spiritual condition.  Our focus is off Him and on ourselves.  We spend time staring in the mirror or contemplating our flaws or differences, instead of getting in the Word.  One of the greatest days was when I got my own revelation about women’s hair.  I heard many ladies complain about their unruly, uncut hair.  But as a young teenager, when I read 1 Corinthians chapter 11, I saw this “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her.”  God didn’t put this on us as a burden, but to bring glory.  That night I prayed that God would use my hair to bring glory to Him.  I have never been tempted to cut my hair or complain about it.  It’s for His glory!

Finally, several years ago my husband taught a lesson about self image versus God’s image.  We are made in His image, not in the image of Hollywood or friends or family.  He challenged each of us to look in the mirror each morning and say:
I am: 
·         Made in the Image of God
·         Chosen by God
·         A Child of God
·         An Heir of God
·         A Joint-Heir with Christ
·         A King and Priest Unto God
·         The Apple of His Eye
When your self-esteem is low, remember that!  You are much more than your weight or hair color or eye color.  You are the exact height and skin color God wants you to be!  Hold your head up, look the world in the eye and say, “I am a child of the King!”




Click here to go to year one of self-esteem week.
Click on the following links to go to this year's posts.