If you haven't read part 1, click HERE.
So as you probably figured out, this is part 2 of "Words of [Dating] Wistdom". This time my lovely guest is Kendra!
Here are the questions I asked, and her answers :).
1.
Kendra, I understand that you didn't grow up in the church. So from
your experience and observation, what would you say is the most negative
thing about the way the world dates?
Physical
touching. There is no doubt that hugging someone, kissing someone,
caressing someone speeds up the physical response. It never stops with
those things. For men, it will increase their desire for more, and more.
For women, it clouds your emotions into thinking he "cares" based on
how much he touches you.
Dating
is not supposed to be an extremely complex, and emotional relationship
from the start. Physical touch will cause this. Think about how hard it
is for a girl to sever a relationship with someone who is a horrible
choice for her once she has given away her purity to him. It creates a
situation never intended by the God. With the help of the Lord, Brendan
and I waited until marriage. BUT because of physical touch, it made it
WAY harder to wait than it needed to be.
2. What would you say to somebody who is considering dating like the world? Or somebody in the world?
Don't
do it! It doesn't give you a chance to form a solid relationship like
you can. In most cases, once you are intimately involved, it becomes
hard to distinguish between genuine love, lust and obsession. That's a
scary situation to be in. Do your boyfriend a favor, don't cloud his
mind with sexual thoughts. And do yourself a favor, have enough respect
for yourself to refrain.
To
someone who is in the church and is considering dating someone in the
world... You need to do some serious praying that this is even a
consideration. God never intended for us to be unequally yoked. Meaning
you need to date someone with like faith, like mind and like goals.
Otherwise you will run into major issues. If marriage follows think
about how difficult it is to live for God with a spouse who doesn't? How
will your raise your kids in a divided home? God forbid.
It's
not just about dating someone in the church either. He needs to know
how to pray, seek God and prove that he is strong in the faith. Your
future husband needs to be able to get ahold of God on behalf of your
family, your marriage and future children. He needs to be a faithful
giver. He needs to be a worshiper. He needs to love God above all
else.
3.
What is something you admire about the way that Apostolics date? I ask
this since you are able to compare and contrast dating in the world vs.
dating in the church.
I
admire the simplicity of it. No strings attached (physically). If it
doesn't work out, you aren't devastated that your first kiss was wasted.
You are able to think clearly and make sound decisions. I admire that
your Pastor,
and
parents are involved in the process. This is so awesome! Whether you
understand it now or not, listen to your pastor!! My pastors wife dated a
man for 4 years, and they were planning to be married. Her pastor
called her in the office one day and said he didn't have a good feeling
about it. No specific reason. They hadn't messed up. Well, she was
obedient. And very soon after, my Pastor asked her to marry him (they
knew each other since they were kids so its not a "knight in shining
armor story" lol). She has the confidence even now that she chose the
perfect will of God by listening to the man of God in her life.
4. What is some advice that you could tell a single Apostolic? Male and female?
Males-
if you are more attracted to her body than the fact that she is
spiritual and loves God, keep it pushing! And when you find the right
girl, after its been cleared with your pastor and hers, respect her
enough to follow the rules. Generally girls will take your lead. Don't
pressure her to do what's wrong.
Females-
Sis Johnson from TN said, "don't look for someone to 'complete' you,
you should be completed in God already." Before you consider dating you
need to examine yourself and make sure your relationship with God is
strong. We are emotional so you need a solid foundation to stand on to
weather the emotional storms that plague us women :) Respect yourself
enough to dress modesty. Not seductive and sexy. Men are visual. Don't
entice them, it's not fair.
To
all, listen to your Pastor. Pray and seek God for His perfect will.
Maybe who you would like to date/marry is the will of God for your life
but not right now. Wait. Listen. Pray. And love God.