What Nobody Talks about After You're Engaged

Oh love, don't we all just love love? and let's not start on engagements. Aren't they exciting? The how, the where, the who, the when.

When we hear about two individuals getting engaged we nearly see floating hearts around the couple every time they walk into a room.

But there are questions, fears - thoughts, that come up with the "yes"  answered to this very important question. (It's the "will you marry me?" question if you didn't figure it out)

I remember being newly engaged, Joe had flown back to New Mexico and I was flooded with different emotions. Good and, not so good. The first not-so-good question that popped into my mind was - "What if he's not the one?" and others followed. Sine there were questions and fears mixed in with the excitement and joy of the engagement, I thought something was wrong with me.

I would go down a mental check list.
  • Pastors approval ✓
  • Parents approval ✓
  • Did I pray/fast about it? ✓
  • Did the important people in my life approve?
And the list went on and on. I knew that above all, I had prayed and fasted about it. That within myself, in front of God during prayer, I knew, HE knew, I would drop the relationship in a second if I ever felt God was telling me to. I had seen too many failed relationships to go against God and the man of God in my life.  

So what was my issue? Was I missing something?

I wasn't.

I was having a normal response to a very important commitment I was going to make in a few months. A response that came up due to my respect for marriage and simply because it was a whole new chapter in my life.  Not only was I going to get married, but I was going to move away from the place I had called home for many years. 

You see, I'm not the type to get carried away with emotion. I thoroughly think things through and I'd like to think I'm pretty logical about things. So when I would hear about young ladies getting swept off their feet and constantly being on cloud 9, I thought I was supposed to act like that too. 

Which is absolutely not true. As our genetic makeup varies, so does our emotional being. Which is why I chose to write this blog post. For other people who think too much like me.

On a happy note - I remember thinking to myself right after the wedding how it felt like none of the doubts were ever there. It was kind of amazing actually, feeling like you're finally with your other half. The half you never knew was missing. 

Before I end this post I have to say that sometimes doubt is a sign that something is wrong. In my case it wasn't, but it's something that needs not to be ignored, just in case something isn't right. Because just because you get the approval from everyone, doesn't necessarily mean you're meant to be with that particular person, but that's a whole other subject. 




12 comments

  1. Good post!!! Its true, our different personalities make us handle things differently!!! One question tho, even in your doubt, do you feel like you still had peace?

    Guess what?!?!?!? I randomly found a dress just like yours that you wore at the proposal, we can be twinsies at AMA!!! :))))

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    1. Yes I did! But it was almost as if I was doubting that peace because of the other feelings. Crazy huh? And where did you find it? It was super hard to find it on my part. lol

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    2. At a thrift store!!! But the brand s Merona so I think that's Target brand!!! I wasn't really looking for it, just looking for cute stuff in general! LOL

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    3. Its not exactly like that, it doesn't have that criss cross in the front!!!

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  2. Excellent post, Anali! I went through the same process in my engagement. But when I would spend time in prayer, God helped me see that the worries were just my humanity and would calm my fears. On my wedding day, I had so much peace and joy. I love my husband and am so thankful for God bringing us together. I'm so happy for you as well!

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    1. Hey Kim!
      Yes I thought I was the only one because nobody talked about it! and I agree, marriage is great :)

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  3. I went through this too!! It's totally normal and part of the process. It's a HUGE lifechanging step and should be considered as such :) love this post and I love you!

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    1. And thank you for the many times you were a listening ear my friend. Love you!

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  4. Hi Anali,

    Although I've been married almost 33 years, I still remember(yep, that's one thing I do remember) being engaged and experiencing the questioning too, and I agree that it's normal and part of the process. Next to serving the Lord, it is the most important decision that one will ever make. Thanks for what you shared here.

    Dios le bendiga!

    Hermana Connell

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    1. Thank you for sharing. Dios la bendiga grandemente !

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  5. This is so you and so true (per what I've heard, NOT experienced LOL).
    See, this is why we need people like you, so we find out we are actually normal haha

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    1. I don't know if putting "me" and "normal" in a sentence is a good idea. LOL

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